Divorce and Divorce Law

Stuff You Should Know

Let’s face it, we all know people who are divorced (some more than once) – the marriage rate in the USA is around 6.8 per thousand – the divorce rate is around 3.4 per thousand – you do the math, in a nutshell this looks like around 50% of marriages end in divorce. There is evidence to suggest that the divorce rate has declined this century, but then again, so has the marriage rate so what does that tell you – not a lot!

Divorce is a very sad and difficult business for all concerned, and although millions of people have been through it, it’s the kind of thing which people very rarely see coming in their own marriages, and so although they offer the statutory amount of sympathy and support, don’t really understand just how traumatic divorce really is unless they find themselves in the same, sad situation. The reality of divorce is heartaches, paperwork, broken homes, not to mention the fees for the court and divorce lawyer, and generally the only party which ends up better off is the divorce lawyer (unless you managed to snag yourself a multi-millionaire without a pre-nup). For that reason, look upon this as a “Beginners Guide to Divorce” – not sure that sounds quite right, but anyway, here are a few divorce facts which you just might need to know.

Types of Divorce

Divorce is divorce is divorce – that’s right, all divorce ends up in the legal dissolution of marriage and leaving each party free to go their separate ways, but there are different types of divorce, and the type of divorce depends on circumstances.

Fault or No-Fault Divorce – divorce laws do still vary from state to state, and country to country in fact, but for many years the only way that a married couple would be granted a divorce was if either party was “at fault” for the failure of their marriage. These faults were the “grounds for divorce” and were generally due to adultery, desertion, mental and physical cruelty or insanity of the incurable variety (we’re all guilty of a touch of insanity from time to time, but evidently that’s not grounds for divorce).  Problem was in these fault divorce cases, that if the “guilty” spouse didn’t want a divorce they could deny any wrongdoing and defend themselves in the divorce courts. Happy days for divorce lawyers . . . happy days indeed (although they must have a well practiced sad face as they’re raking in all of that dosh). Anyway, although “fault” divorces are still available in many places, it is now also possible to have a “no-fault” divorce (lots of celebs have a bunch of ‘em) where no particular party is at fault, but can file for divorce due to “irreconcilable differences” or “incompatibilities” . . . pity many of them don’t think of that before they get married, not mentioning any names Russell and Katy!

Contested & Uncontested Divorce

If both parties can’t agree on everything (which is unlikely in divorce cases isn’t it . . . isn’t that the reason why people get divorced in the first place, ‘cos they disagree on stuff) – anyway, if both parties can’t agree on everything then the divorce is contested and must go before a judge. Contested divorces are, therefore, much more expensive than uncontested divorces, and often cause even more heartbreak for those concerned. Uncontested divorces, therefore, means that either;

• Neither spouse legally disputes the decisions made by the other spouse
• Both spouses agree on every details regarding the divorce agreement . . . alimony, children, properties etc
• One spouse simply ignores the other spouses request for a divorce or to their decisions over child custody and support, debts, property etc.

Simplified Divorce

This a a real quickie which is permitted in some states, speeding up the whole divorce proceedings and keeping it out of court. Sometimes you can simply fill out a form and have the settlements approved by a judge.  You will have to wait maybe 6 months before the divorce becomes finalized (which is often longer than the duration of the whole courtship and marriage put together).  Simplified divorces are only really possible if there are no dependent children involved (under the age of 18 years, although how many kids cease to become dependent at 18 . . . you tell me, in my experience they just get to be more ruddy expensive).

Divorce Law and Mediation

Divorces (especially the contested variety) are an expensive business, which is part of the reason why it is becoming more popular for negotiations to be held in mediation, rather than an expensive court of divorce law.  This means that a neutral professional can help the couple to negotiate and discuss important issues until both parties are comfortable with the outcome. This can also help to prevent the unpleasant experience of having ones dirty laundry washed in public, and calling friends or family to testify at a divorce trial - making the already distasteful business of divorce positively nasty.

One of the other people to make money from a D-I-V-O-R-C-E . . . interestingly enough, another famous hit of hers was “Stand by your man”  released shortly afterwards . . . must have been singing about a different guy.